Availability 15th-21st May


Monday 15th – Free until 2.30pm then from 7-8pm  (On this day I can answer the phone from 7am-2.30pm and again after 5pm)

Tuesday 16th – Free all day

Wednesday 17th – Free from 12.30  (On this day I can answer the phone from 7am-9am and then after 12pm)

Thusday 18th – Free all day

Friday 19th – Free all day

Saturday 20th – Not Availabile

Sunday 21st – Free all day  ** work is being done on my property this weekend, I will know full availability for Sunday by the end of Saturday.

As always call nice and early on the day to get the time you want, my availability looks good as most people book me on the day.



It has been a really nice month so far, someone got me the most amazing chocolates by Neuhaus, the “Plasir” & “Desir” they were incredible, I can honestly say the best I have ever tasted, then the lovely aussie “Summer Roll” Chocolate bar.  I have to ration myself as they are not the best thing to eat when you are increasing your weight training but everyone needs a treat dont they!


I also found out the new seasons nettles seem to be more vicious than last year.  I never pick them myself as I swell up, so its 2*pairs of latex gloves just incase when I touch them, I have been stung through 1 layer before.  Lots of lady boss as well this week, be warned though, if I am your boss, I take no notice of ACAS, as far as I am concerned I make the rules, if someone does not make their sales targets, they have to take a good hard spanking or a dildo up their ass, bent over like a slut and made to wear lacy black knickers to work instead of mens underwear, otherwise it’s a bad reference and off to the job centre for you!  I like to think I am a caring sharing type though and am only doing this for their own good, as well as my amusement.  I have to admit I love watching a man stripping off, and being made to wear a pair of tarty knickers, they can never fit everything in them and always end up spilling out.


That is if they have a normal penis, and not a weenis, yes a teeny weeny peeny, Joachim, you know i am talking about you, “Du hast kleiner schwanz”  (thats german for you have a small penis) Joachims peeny is a little button/walnut/tail and he was good enough to bring me a pack of 3 walnut whips from M&S as a symbol of his little friend.  It measured 3.2 inches on the measuring tape of shame, mind you I should have known as soon as I saw how teeny his feet were.  However he loves for his little friend to be made fun of and wanted me to mention him on this blog, as a final humiliation before he flys back to Germany, Tschuss Joachim.


So really when I think about it, why I like doing what I do is that it really amuses me, I get pleasure from it.  I get to do things that regular people, with normal lives dont get to do.